Top Ten Things an Ophthalmic Technician Would NEVER Say to a Patient

10. No... really... take your time on that cell phone call.

9. I'm going to check your pressure.  Squeeze your eyes really tight.

8. Those glasses you bought on the internet are PERFECT for you!

7. Tell me more about your hammer toe surgery.

6. Using that coat hanger to keep your glasses on your head is a GREAT idea!

5. It's fine that you came in an hour late for your 11 am appt.  I'm on a diet anyway.

4. Your vision is 20/400 OU.  Oh, by the way, can I catch a  ride home with you?

3. Yes, ALL of your family members should join us!

2. Yes, we really DO take the eye out when we do cataract surgery.

1. Don't tell me which is clearest.  I just want to SHOW the lenses to you.